I was uncomfortable that night before i started bleeding severely.I couldn’t find a good spot to sleep at so i tried sleeping in the couch.It worked.I woke up at 5am that morning having to go pee.After i wiped,i saw a little bit of blood on the tissue i used.I wiped again to check,more blood.I wiped again to make sure,more blood until it started dripping like crazy.The toilet bowl won’t even flush that time since i used like the whole roll of tissue.I was so nervous.Negative thoughts in my head started making me panic.Fortunately my husband was home.I told him we have got to go to the hospital.We rushed to the labor and delivery.Bam! I was 3cm dilated.The bleeding never stop and it gets worse when i would have to get up and use the restroom.I was admitted in the hospital for 4 days before i had my babies.Steroid shots,IV’s,Antibiotics,baby monitors with sticky gels on my belly,sleepless nights and stress are just few things i remember i hated.I was on magnesium drip for 2 days to help keep them in longer,and that drip made me feel like crap the whole time.As soon as they stopped it,i was finally sleeping good,little did i know i was having continuous contractions while i was asleep,my husband was watching the monitor.I woke up,nurse and doctor came and checked me,i was only 4cm dilated but right before they were going to leave my room,my water broke,emergency c section it is! It was unexplainable feeling knowing they were about to pop out! They just couldn’t wait any longer;they were so ready to be on mommy’s and daddy’s arms i guess haha Everything went so fast.Surgery was done quickly and i remember my boys both had different teams of nurses to take care of them.It was an amazing feeling when i heard them cry,I couldn’t help but cry too,for happiness.I was so happy,but i couldn’t hold them and didn’t have any skin to skin touch for a while,they showed me both of them for like 5 seconds each and they were sent to the NICU.My recovery was quick,i was walking by the hospital hallway the same day i had my surgery and spent few days in the hospital.Now,THIS IS THE HARDEST PART—
Going home without my babies.It was heartbreaking to leave the hospital without them.We visited them 3x a day to feed them and check on them,sometimes at night too! I cried every single time we drove home.Such a horrible feeling.They were 34 weekers premies,i call them my little fighters.Looking at all the tubes and cords and monitors in their bodies while we were there was so painful to me,and knowing they draw blood almost everyday felt like somebody was trying to tear my heart off in pieces.They were so tiny.Being a NICU parent was very challenging.
This is Zayn,5.1lbs.
This is Zander.He was 4.1lbs
I still cry whenever i see their pictures or videos when they all had those in their bodies.
They were breathing on their own when they came out,but the Dr.wanted to put them on oxygen for few days just to help them breathe.They were on feeding tubes for a week too,until they learned how to suck.I was breastfeeding them.One of the hardest part was pumping,for two! I was always exhausted.It was like never ending routine i had for a while and im glad i did! Because now,my breastmilk is slowing down and i wish i continued doing how i was doing.
12 days after,they finally came home.They were on 3 hr schedule of in between feedings,it was rough,very hard,but we did it.They are now almost 8 weeks,eating 4oz every 4-5 hrs.
It’s still hard but our bodies have gotten used to it.One smile and every tiredness of my body is gone! We got our hands full but oh my goodness I wouldn’t have them any other way! Two lovely boys entered our lives and our world is completely changed.I love them so much and if i have to do it all over again,i would.Twice the love,twice the fun.So if you are a parent of multiples too,i salute you.We are twice blessed.WE GOT THIS!